Woman Says She Tried to Set Up a Friend, but Her Boyfriend’s Pal Kept Getting in the Way: 'He Did It Again'

"He was actively messing things up," the woman wrote in a Reddit post

Nov 11, 2024 - 22:29
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Woman Says She Tried to Set Up a Friend, but Her Boyfriend’s Pal Kept Getting in the Way: 'He Did It Again'

"He was actively messing things up," the woman wrote in a Reddit post

Getty A stock image of a couple

Getty A stock image of a couple

A woman says she ended up blocking her boyfriend's friend after he foiled her attempts at playing matchmaker for a mutual friend too many times.

In a post on Reddit's "Am I the A-----," the woman, 23, said her 24-year-old boyfriend has two best friends: Tom, 23, who is the "center of attention at parties" and has also "had a lot of girlfriends," and Marcus, 24, who is "more reserved."

"A couple of weeks ago, I asked my boyfriend why I had never seen Marcus bring around any of his girlfriends," she wrote. "I was surprised when he told me he had never had a girlfriend."

The woman said this news surprised her, because in addition to being a "handsome, athletic guy," she said she'd "never noticed him having any trouble socially." In response, her boyfriend said his friend just "gets anxious when approaching women."

So, she decided to set him up with one of her friends — without him knowing, of course.

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"I talked to a girlfriend I knew was into him and asked if she wanted to come out for drinks with the five of us the next day," she wrote, going on to clarify that she didn't explicitly tell her friend it was a setup.

"Everything was going great until Tom joined us half an hour later," she added.

According to the woman, Tom didn’t know about her plan either, but quickly “took over the conversation” and even ended up leaving with her friend. She then messaged Tom explaining her plan, and said he "was very understanding."

“But the following weekend, he did it again," she continued. "I tried talking to him about it, but he downplayed the situation."

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She decided not to invite Tom to the next setup, and this time, she said her coworker walked away saying she liked Marcus. Then after she and her boyfriend dropped "many hints," Marcus even asked her out.

However, then she said that Tom messaged her and her boyfriend saying he "felt excluded."

"I told him I was sorry but he knew what we were trying to do but he was actively messing things up," she wrote. Tom responded by saying it wasn't "his fault" if women didn't like Marcus and went on to say her "obsession" with trying to find Marcus a girlfriend was "weird" and "uncomfortable."

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That didn't sit well with her, and the woman said she proceeded to block him "on everything."

Although she said that her boyfriend has her back, he did think she was too harsh with Tom. "Now I'm doubting myself," she wrote. However, many commenters said they didn't think she was in the wrong.

"Honestly, it doesn't sound like you really like Tom much, and it's fine to invite and hang out with only people you want to hang out with," one commenter wrote. "Lots of people have 'that friend' that sucks up all the oxygen in a room, and prefer that person in small doses."

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Many even questioned if Tom might be the one with relationship problems.

“I think Tom has some deep-seated self-esteem issues,” another commenter wrote, while another wondered, "if Tom is one of the reasons Marcus could never find a girl."

Meanwhile, others said that even though blocking did seem a hair extreme, being annoyed at Tom's actions did make sense.

"Tom gives off that 'I’m the main character and I can’t help other girls are jealous of me' mean girl vibes," read one reply. "I think your boyfriend and Marcus really need to examine their relationship with Tom."

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