The Dallas Cowboys Can’t Beat Anyone, Including the Sun
GQ SportsJerry’s World is a glare-filled monument to hubris.By Matthew RobersonNovember 11, 2024That's really bright!Sam Hodde/Getty ImagesSave this storySaveSave this storySaveAll products are independently selected by our editors. If you buy something, we may earn an affiliate commission.One of very few things in this life that we can bank on happening every single day: the sun rises in the east and sets in the west. No matter where you are, how much money you’ve accrued, or how many Super Bowls you won in the ‘90s, the natural rotation of the earth in relation to the sun remains constant.Jerry Jones might not know that—or at least doesn’t particularly care. Jones (net worth: $15.7 billion) is the longtime owner of the Dallas Cowboys, and since 2009 his team have played at AT&T Stadium, the gargantuan football palace in Arlington. Much about the stadium was unique when it opened 15 years ago: it’s full of Jones’ art collection, and boasts a scoreboard that often foils high-kicking punters. One more curiosity: the stadium is laid out east to west, rather than north to south, as is traditional for football fields. This means that when the sun is setting, as it was during the Cowboys game against the Eagles on Sunday afternoon, blinding rays come beaming through the windows that happen to be situated at the stadium’s west end. The Cowboys had plenty of problems during a 34-6 loss to the Eagles on Sunday, but none were quite so…glaring…as when the sun prevented CeeDee Lamb, the Cowboys’ star receiver, from seeing the ball on what would have been an otherwise standard touchdown catch.X contentThis content can also be viewed on the site it originates from.After the dust settled, dropping the Cowboys to a miserable 3-6 record, Lamb solemnly said of this play, “Couldn’t see the ball. Couldn’t see the ball, at all. The sun.” That’s…a major problem! But, as the 82-year-old Jones grumbled after the game, the sun has always been a factor, and both teams have to deal with it. What’s interesting, though, is how Jones handled basic questions from the media about this. When asked about the possibility of putting curtains on the massive windows, which would seemingly provide a permanent resolution, Jones said, “Well, let’s tear the damn stadium down and build another one?” He later added, “By the way, we know where the sun is going to be when we decide to flip the coin or not. We do know where the damn sun is going to be in our own stadium.”That last bit reads as a bit of a dig at head coach Mike McCarthy, the person whose job it is to know that the sun will render his players incapable of sight, and should have chosen to attack the other end zone when the Cowboys won the opening coin toss.So that gives us one potential strategy: always win every coin toss, forever. Of course—and stick with me here, Jer—you could have considered this 15 years ago when building this expensive fortress! The best way to keep the sun out of your eyes is to face north and south, as any Little Leaguer who’s ever played catch can tell you. (By the way, Lamb said he’s “one thousand percent” in favor of installing some curtains.)At this point, the Cowboys’ goose is cooked. NFL.com puts the team’s playoff chances at 4%, and the hapless New York Giants are the only NFC team with fewer wins. Their quarterback is preparing for season-ending surgery, their coach is the most fired man in the world, and their owner is too stubborn to fix a very fixable problem that isn’t going anywhere, at least until the sun explodes. (Bigger problem, that.) If the Dallas Cowboys are America’s Team, it’s fitting that the biggest theme of their latest loss is arguably the most American thing there is: a baffling refusal to change.
All products are independently selected by our editors. If you buy something, we may earn an affiliate commission.
One of very few things in this life that we can bank on happening every single day: the sun rises in the east and sets in the west. No matter where you are, how much money you’ve accrued, or how many Super Bowls you won in the ‘90s, the natural rotation of the earth in relation to the sun remains constant.
Jerry Jones might not know that—or at least doesn’t particularly care. Jones (net worth: $15.7 billion) is the longtime owner of the Dallas Cowboys, and since 2009 his team have played at AT&T Stadium, the gargantuan football palace in Arlington. Much about the stadium was unique when it opened 15 years ago: it’s full of Jones’ art collection, and boasts a scoreboard that often foils high-kicking punters. One more curiosity: the stadium is laid out east to west, rather than north to south, as is traditional for football fields. This means that when the sun is setting, as it was during the Cowboys game against the Eagles on Sunday afternoon, blinding rays come beaming through the windows that happen to be situated at the stadium’s west end. The Cowboys had plenty of problems during a 34-6 loss to the Eagles on Sunday, but none were quite so…glaring…as when the sun prevented CeeDee Lamb, the Cowboys’ star receiver, from seeing the ball on what would have been an otherwise standard touchdown catch.
X content
This content can also be viewed on the site it originates from.
After the dust settled, dropping the Cowboys to a miserable 3-6 record, Lamb solemnly said of this play, “Couldn’t see the ball. Couldn’t see the ball, at all. The sun.” That’s…a major problem! But, as the 82-year-old Jones grumbled after the game, the sun has always been a factor, and both teams have to deal with it. What’s interesting, though, is how Jones handled basic questions from the media about this. When asked about the possibility of putting curtains on the massive windows, which would seemingly provide a permanent resolution, Jones said, “Well, let’s tear the damn stadium down and build another one?” He later added, “By the way, we know where the sun is going to be when we decide to flip the coin or not. We do know where the damn sun is going to be in our own stadium.”
That last bit reads as a bit of a dig at head coach Mike McCarthy, the person whose job it is to know that the sun will render his players incapable of sight, and should have chosen to attack the other end zone when the Cowboys won the opening coin toss.
So that gives us one potential strategy: always win every coin toss, forever. Of course—and stick with me here, Jer—you could have considered this 15 years ago when building this expensive fortress! The best way to keep the sun out of your eyes is to face north and south, as any Little Leaguer who’s ever played catch can tell you. (By the way, Lamb said he’s “one thousand percent” in favor of installing some curtains.)
At this point, the Cowboys’ goose is cooked. NFL.com puts the team’s playoff chances at 4%, and the hapless New York Giants are the only NFC team with fewer wins. Their quarterback is preparing for season-ending surgery, their coach is the most fired man in the world, and their owner is too stubborn to fix a very fixable problem that isn’t going anywhere, at least until the sun explodes. (Bigger problem, that.) If the Dallas Cowboys are America’s Team, it’s fitting that the biggest theme of their latest loss is arguably the most American thing there is: a baffling refusal to change.
