Shane Gillis did the impossible.
He made ESPN’s ESPY awards watchable — and he made the self-proclaimed ‘Worldwide Leader in Sports’ funny again.
“Donald Trump wants to stage a UFC fight on the White House lawn,” Gillis joked on Wednesday.
“The last time he staged a fight in DC, Mike Pence almost died.”
It was hilarious — and super awkward.
Ecohing laughter and applause followed, and so did stunned silence from a dressed-up crowd that was afraid of being caught smiling too much on television.
“Lighten up a little,” Gillis said. “This is not serious.”
He also kept reminding attendees that he didn’t write the jokes that instantly went viral on social media, and had already recorded hundreds of thousands of YouTube views by Thursday morning.
Gillis had his Ricky Gervais 2020 Golden Globes moment and, thankfully, ESPN might never be the same.
“Four-time WNBA All-Star Brittany Hicks is here. Give it up for Brittany, everybody,” said Gillis, which was followed by a clapping crowd.
“I’m joking around. That’s my friend’s wife. I knew none of you knew WNBA players. That’s crazy you clap at that.”
Gillis joked about Caitlin Clark, Shohei Ohtani, Aaron Rodgers, Shai Gilgeous-Alexander, Juan Soto and Jeffrey Epstein.
The 37-year-old comedian pushed and broke boundaries on a network that once was a must-watch for sports fans across America, yet has been the exact opposite for 20 years.
“A bookie is what Bill Belichick reads to his girlfriend before bedtime,” Gillis said.
“They read, ‘Very H**** Caterpillar,’ ‘The Little Engine That Could But Needed A Pill First,’ and, of course, the classic, ‘Good Night B****.’ “
For some, ESPN lost its fastball when it became more about promoting woke personalities than covering a plethora of sports on TV.
To others, it’s simply been the fact that ESPN covers the NFL poorly, screams nonstop about a few NBA names over and over, and barely knows that Major League Baseball exists.
“Aaron Rodgers did not take the vaccine because he predicted that it would be bad for him,” Gillis said.
Hot takes
Some of Gillis' most viral jokes at the ESPYs ...
Gillis on Shai Gilgeous-Alexander: “SGA is here. Give it up for SGA. Hell, yeah, bruh. And now everyone sitting around him is in foul trouble.”
Donald Trump: “Joe Rogan actually wanted me to be here to host this award show so that I could capture Adam Silver, because Joe thinks he’s an alien. And Donald Trump wanted me to be here to capture Juan Soto for the same reason.”
Eagles’ Tush Push: “At the snap, you dive right into his butt. Then both those guys behind him are going to grab him by the hips and shove him even harder into your butt.”
Shedeur Sanders: “Shedeur Sanders had his jersey number retired at Colorado this year, and people are saying it was because of nepotism because of his father. And it’s not. It’s because he went 13-12 over his career and almost won the Alamo Bowl.”
Shohei Ohtani: “Shohei Ohtani couldn’t make it tonight. Man, I hope his interpreter didn’t bet that he was going to be here. Shohei is a once-in-a-generation talent. No one has been able to do what he does at so many positions — pitcher, hitter and bookie.”
“And then he joined the New York Jets. So maybe he wasn’t right about everything.”
As cameras panned to sports stars in the audience, it was Gervais’ absolutely brilliant Golden Globes routine all over again.
“Lucky for me the Hollywood Foreign Press can barely speak English and they’ve no idea what Twitter is, so I got offered this gig by fax,” Gervais said in 2020.
“So let’s go out with a bang. Let’s have a laugh at your expense. Shall we remember they’re just jokes? We’re all gonna die soon and there’s no sequel.”
Some ESPY-attending millionaires embraced Gillis’ snappy humor and broke into laughter.
Others instantly tightened up and appeared uncomfortable on air.
It was live comedy on stage, as it’s supposed to be and normally has been for 50-plus years.
Tom Brady’s Netflix roast was a me-first failure that the greatest quarterback of all-time later gave a soft apology for.
Gillis spared no prisoners at the ESPYs, and understood that a little humor is the best way to lighten up a self-inflated room.
“Lots of big celebrities here tonight,” Gervais said at the Golden Globes in 2000.
“Legends, icons. Look at this table alone — Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, baby Yoda. Oh, that’s that’s Joe Pesci.”
Throw in the fact that Gillis knows his sports, and easily bounced between college football and the WNBA, and it was an instant ESPN classic from a once-canceled comedian who hails from Mechanicsburg, Pennsylvania.
“Travis Hunter won the Heisman Trophy this year,” Gillis said.
“He’s the first defensive player since Charles Woodson to win the Heisman. Congratulations, Travis Hunter. Winning the Heisman, that’s something they can never take away from you.
“Unless you kill your wife and a waiter, in which case, they can take that away from you.”
Gillis blended the Jacksonville Jaguars, Colorado Buffaloes, O.J. Simpson and Norm Macdonald in a single joke.
It was refreshingly brilliant, and a perfect reminder that sports aren’t that serious in a real world that is filled daily with depressingly bad news.
Hopefully ESPN is inspired by all the laughter and attention that Gillis brought to the ESPYs, instead of weakly trying to cancel him again.